SUPERMAX SPEEDS (Part 1) 05.05.2020

Such a badass Big Girl the Flying Duchess is

It’s another glorious morning to be a speeding running bastard capable of sprinting alongside gasoline guzzlers. Tsibektican is picking up where She left on Monday, trailing up the faded tracks of Her big brother Tourist. A rather not easy ascend up ILRI/ Gathondeki Hill, fate was prepping Baby for a test of Her ferocity. As we dropped leftwards on the slip road into A104, a white Mistubishi MH465 slowed down to pass the rough patch right of the halted Super Metro. Then the roar of gear one and the engagement of gear two got Munchkin curious and highly alerted. What does a big wild cat do in front of an unsuspecting goat? It charges and pounces. And so did the Tigress of Gathondeki do just that, before the huge towering whitey zoomed away, She accelerated and She was in the splitstream at 65kph on the low descend. In a matter of seconds, N-Market and Thiongo stages zoomed past my eye’s corner. My feet were working like a fan’s propellers; hands lightly on the brake levers should the driver brake suddenly. We are zooming past Ambrose’s viewpoint and in less than 4 minutes we were under Kangemi Bridge. The Big One started been slow so we ducked to the right and overtook it onto the smooth fast lane. We were now behind a police patrol at 24kph, the big whitey taking a lot of space 20 meters behind Munchkin’s red-black wheel. A perfect chance to duck left and zoom off, we took it and took off. Some cars managed to slide out of the slow droppers’ blockage and whizzed off past my right.

We kept the distance at 70 meters but I knew the drop at Waruku will give the 20 ton truck an added momentum powered advantage in closing the gap so we pushed as hard as we could. Onto the dreaded rough stretch; Nairobi School, there were two nduthi guys doing what God know what at the stage ahead. Whatever it was it nearly ended up with Tsibektican and I under the wheels of the 20 ton already 4 meters behind us as its engine roared like Godzilla. I wisely ducked left into the bus stop curve as the lorry roared past and frightened the two bastards before they gassed away. “Aaaargh,” I snarled at the missed chance to feel the adrenaline rush of being chased on rough terrain. I watched the MH465 tower away towards James Gichuru but I did not rush hard until Munchkin’s tyres hit smooth tarmac. Then onto the Spider Bars and taking the whole slow lane to ourselves at 47kph, we were edging closer to a pounce in classic brutality. The double axled set of wheels rolled back, then the front wheels and finally we were in front and pacing further ahead to Safaricom Hill descend. Baby Bee was in between two matatus as She chased and beat this NNK matatus at 58kph. A fan on the front wheel of a zooming Star bus saluted the Flying Duchess with a 2-beep, I responded with a frrrp from my whistle as Munchkin attacked a pack of vehicles down Chiromo Road. Taking to the middle of the highway near Chiromo Lane at 48kph is mandatory if you want to thrive or survive, this big feline loves been on top of the cadence chain.

The eccentric excitement lowered as we passed at the edge corners of City Square, down through Gikomba and into Ziwani to my shop. I swear, Her brothers will not sleep soundly knowing that their only sister is thrashing and leaving a massacre on Waiyaki Way lately. The fruits of an eccentric ride is years of constant painful training.

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